Kitty Cat by Robin Roseau

Author:Robin Roseau [Roseau, Robin]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Robin Roseau
Published: 2016-12-28T05:00:00+00:00

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I lost track of the days. Nyla had warned me some of my more human thought processes would recede. Time flowed differently for me. The days when she left me alone in the house seemed to last forever, but the days flowed into each other.

My ability to manage my body improved. I continued to offer the stairs some respect, but jumping onto the bed no longer required thought, and I could make it to the counters as well. The first time Nyla saw me do that, she set the rules. “Stay off the counters without an invitation. Period.”

I considered my own version. No harm, no foul, and what Nyla didn’t know couldn’t hurt Kitty-Cat. But I also decided getting caught breaking her rules wasn’t a good thing, and definitely wasn’t worth risking. I stayed off the counters.

It’s probably a good thing she didn’t leave tuna cans on the counter, though.

I hadn’t been there all that many days -- perhaps a week or ten days -- when Nyla came home with an announcement. “I have good news and bad news.” I followed her into the kitchen, and she said, “Up-up.” That was my invitation to jump onto the island. I did, and turned to face her.

“You shed.”

Like that was my fault.

“One of my employees noticed fur on my jacket this morning and asked if I had a new cat. I told her about you.”

I imagine she only reported a portion of the news about me, and none of the juicy bits.

“She asked me what I was feeding you.” Then Nyla paused, and when she resumed, her voice changed. “I didn’t get any work done after that. I spent hours doing research. You have no idea how confusing this can be.”

I yawned. Whatever.

“I think you might be interested in this. Kitty-Cat, I have good news and bad news.” She’d already said that. “I am going to tell you the bad news first, and then the good news. You aren’t going to like the bad news, but I bet you like the good news.”

I crouched down and attempted to gird my loins, or something like that. Do cats have loins? What the hell were loins, anyway? I mean, I’ve heard of loin chops. Oh, that sounded good. I wondered-

“Kitty-Cat, are you paying attention?”

“Merp.”

“All right. Well, I’m sorry, but while not every expert agrees with this, enough do that I’m going to go with it. I’m sorry, but no more tuna.”

I immediately began yowling. She couldn’t be serious. No more tuna? No. Tuna was, like, the only good part of all this, and now she was taking my tuna from me?

Evil witch!

“Calm down. I know. I know. You like tuna. And that’s part of the problem. If I let you have tuna, you’re going to begin turning your nose up at everything else, and too much fish is bad for you. It can be high in mercury, which is a poison, and you could be allergic. You could develop skin sores from it.”

Not from tuna! No, she must be wrong.

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